life’s not a paragraph

last sunday was suffolk’s fall open house. i sat with by boss nichole at the new england school of art and design table and got opportunity to talk to a bunch of perspective students about their interest in art and nesad.

this is the second time this semester that i’ve had this opportunity (the first time was at boston’s national portfolio day on halloween weekend), and it keeps on getting stranger for me. well maybe that sounds a little weird, but let me explain. i am now at the end of my college career. in less than a year i will be out in the world, a degree under my belt. all of the students i am talking to have just begun the journey that i am about to finish. it’s a really strange experience to be at these functions that i attended about four years ago and to be looking at them from an entirely different perspective. it’s making me realize how much i have changed since those fall days of searching for colleges. it’s actually a little terrifying. the time has gone by so fast but really, freshman year feels like such a long time ago.

it’s also really exciting for me to experience, because i had no idea where my life was going four years ago. i had no idea that i would be spending a year in spain, traveling to el salvador, leading alternative winter break trips or even writing this blog. all the students i have talked to in the past few weeks are living in that same state of mystery that i once was living. is this the right college? is this the right major? what opportunities will i have?

and then i realize that even though four years of college and life separate me and these perspective students, i am, in essence, going living in the same mystery. i don’t even know if i where be living in the summer. my mystery is just as vast and overwhelming.

this idea comforts me a little. i’ve been freaking out a bit about the future and a job and what do i really want to do when i graduate. but i’ve done this before. i’ve graduated, struggled through the questions and the doubts and made final decisions, and i have survived. actually, i feel comfortable saying that i have thrived within the decisions that i have made. this gives me just a bit more faith that things will work out, and maybe i shouldn’t try planning every moment because who knows what kind of opportunities will arise. i still have seven months to find out.