Week 11- Parenting Book and Krolokke and Sorensen

Going into more detail, Good enough parenting: the sensible discipline
guide for new parents, closely relates to two distinct types of feminism
that have been explained by Krolokke & Sorensen (2005) in Three waves of feminism: from suffragettes
to grrls. During the second-wave feminism era, theorists Nancy Chodorow &
Carol Gilligan (1978), turned to a more ‘women-friendly psychoanalytic theory’ in
order to highlight women’s productive capacities in terms of motherhood and
caretaking, as opposed to women’s standpoint on, and criticism of, political
and capitalist society. Their main focus was to show that women also have a
caring side which allows them to be strong-willed, loving, devoted, friendly,
and caring mothers.  Fair (2012) is not
only a mother of four children, but insightful and wise in terms of motherhood
and caretaking. She says, “I haven’t met a mother
who doesn’t have guilt as a constant, or at the very least, occasional
companion. Sometimes I think that when you give birth to a child, you
immediately get a new middle name – guilt” (p.74).  Fair (2012) explains that mothers are
constantly asking themselves questions such as “am I doing and giving enough,
encouraging and hugging enough, and even disciplining enough?” She says that
mothers have strong guilt when parenting and taking care of their children because
they feel that they can’t be perfect, regardless of how hard they try to be.  Fair (2012) says that it is not a mother’s
job a be perfect, but good enough; “Perfect parenting (or over-parenting) are
damaging to children because they never get to experience delayed
gratification, disappointments and real life experiences of how to handle
conflict and failures…good enough parenting acknowledges that the parent-child
relationship consists of two unique, but flawed people each with his own set of
needs and want” (p. 75).

Along with encouragement, love, care, and
friendliness, mothers must also be dominant in a sense that they remain in
control of their children and that their children grow up with discipline and
manners. According to Krolokke & Sorensen (2005),
third-wave feminism produced what is known today as “grrl feminism,” or simply,
“girl power.” Although mothers are not trying to gain dominance by flaunting
their bodies or exaggerating their social status as a woman, Fair (2012) says
that mothers must embrace a sense of empowerment and assert their dominance
respectfully towards their children in order to ensure discipline within the
household and as they mature throughout life. She says that parents get
stressed very easy and want to punish their children, but need to do so in a
manner that will not have a damaging effect on them.  An example that Fair (2012) talks about is
how she came home from work and saw her 3-year-old daughter writing on the wall
with peanut butter; instead of getting upset, she complimented her creativity,
joined her, played “clean-up,” and then she sternly explained that her daughter
is not allowed to draw on the wall again or she will have to be punished.  She explained, that by understanding and
encouraging her daughter, but using subtle dominance, she was able to make her
daughter understand, but differentiate between right and wrong. Fair (2012) explains
that being an encouraging and caring mother is not only essential but necessary
to a child’s life; using “girl power,” or in this case, “mother power,” parents
are able to keep their children out of trouble at home, in school, with friends
and other family members, and throughout life in general.

Key Words: empowerment, girl power, mother-friendly, encouragement, love, care, friendliness,
strong, dominant, creative, understanding, family, friends, respect.