What is your outlook or perspective during your journey? If it tends to be negative, try to change your perspective from negative to positive. Quiet your inner critic and negative thoughts. You know – those voices in your head that say you can’t do it. Don’t listen to them. Change your self-talk. Instead, think of some positive mantras and change the voices, alter the story that keeps playing. Instead of automatically going to the negative, start thinking in a more positive way. It may be hard at first but it will get easier. Be your own cheerleader.
Redirect that neuropath in your brain that takes you to a negative place, so that eventually, you make a new path that is more positive. Instead of asking yourself “what is the worst thing that can happen,” change your thinking to “what is the best thing that can happen.” Think of the reward, the positive.
Use positive visualization. Instead of visualizing something going wrong, focus on something going right. Instead of picturing a downpour on race day, visualize your family cheering you on at the end of the race or yourself crossing the finish line. Instead of seeing a lot of red ink all over your law school memo assignment, visualize a well-organized and thorough memo.
Words matter. Changing your language or words you use can make a difference. After I signed up to run the marathon, instead of viewing it as a daunting chore that I was dreading and being scared every day of training, I looked at it as an opportunity to get in shape, push myself, and have a transformative experience that only 1% achieve. Instead of groaning, “I have to run today,” I changed my perspective and word choice to say, “I get to run today or I choose to run.” Instead of complaining that I had to find a running route when I was traveling, I changed my language to something more positive, such as, “I get to run in a different location today”. In law school, instead of complaining about the volumes of pages you have to read, change your language to how you are learning to read critically like a lawyer.
If you absolutely can’t stop yourself from thinking in a negative way, another technique is to go ahead and think the worst case scenario. Visualize that your shoe lace broke, you trip at the start, your music won’t play, and you have to go to the bathroom, etc. Or in law school, visualize your alarm not going off, missing the train, going to the wrong classroom, and being late for your exam. Then on race day or the day of your exam, you will be pleasantly surprised when it actually is a lot better than all those things you feared, as they are not all going to go wrong. And, even if small things do go wrong, it won’t throw you off track, as you will be able handle it, as they are not nearly as bad as the worst case scenario you imagined.
When I ran the marathon my music and watch stopped at mile 17. I had never even run 1 mile without music. I had a backup plan to use my phone but I wasn’t able to meet up with my family, who had my phone with them, who were supposed to be at mile 17. It turns out they got delayed on the subway they had taken after watching me at mile 8. I had anticipated my music might die based on my prior training runs and had a backup plan but that didn’t work out. It didn’t throw me off as much as I thought it would, however, because I had anticipated it.
When I was in law school, the morning of my bar exam, my alarm didn’t go off because I had lost power over night. I had a back up plan, and had asked my friend to give me a wakeup call, which she did. I also lived near the airport so I heard the planes flying overhead and woke up anyway. Instead of letting that throw me off, I kept moving forward and made it to the exam on time.
Surround yourself with good energy instead of negative. Any negativity can start to seep into your psyche and be toxic. Negativity also takes up a lot energy, which you will need on your journey. Clean house. Expel negative thoughts, negative people, negative places, or negative situations. Surround yourself with positive people who support your journey. Step away from negative people or people who don’t support you 100% on your journey.
Find small ways to inject positivity on your journey. For example, a friend told me if you smile when you run, you won’t feel the pain as much. When a rocking 80’s song came on or someone drove by me while I was on a training run and waved hello, I couldn’t help but smile. And you know what, it does put more bounce in your step and even if it is momentarily, it makes your journey a little easier.
Law school can be very competitive and filled with anxiety. Negativity and anxiety can be contagious. Law school can also be a place where you make great friends who are collegial and help each other. Remember, the people you meet in law school you may one day refer a client to, appear in front of in court, or be on opposing sides.
Being positive can be infectious. For example, when I first started training and I would run by someone on a sidewalk, I was struck by how many people would turn away or not say hello. I started making a conscious effort to say “good morning” or “hello” when I went by. I was still surprised when some people still did not respond, but perhaps they didn’t hear me or maybe the positivity would catch on later in their day. Most, however, would smile and wave back or reply hello and for a brief moment we had a common connection. During the marathon, the positive energy was palpable and was a huge help for the runners. It felt like a wave of positivity carrying you through to the finish.
Use positive mantras. Be your own positive cheerleader for yourself. Think of a positive chorus of a song or message that will pump you up or put smile on your face. When I was running I came up with my own positive marathon mantra that was just for me to tell myself while running. Mine was “I can, I will, I am . . .” Notice it is positive, not a negative narrative like “you can’t, you won’t, you shouldn’t have tried.” What is your positive mantra? What will help you get through exams in law school? Keep it simple. It could even be “it’s a marathon, not a sprint.” Another approach is to simply pick three words to repeat to yourself, like “I am confident, capable, and caring.” Or “be strong, stay focused.” Say it to yourself over and over until it starts to sink in. Today is a good day for a good day.