It’s a beautiful day when suddenly you wake up to the blaring sound of your alarm, jolting your nervous system and immediately putting you in a state of anxiety. You reach out for your phone on your nightstand to turn off the alarm. Already feeling the dread of the upcoming day, you open up your Instagram in a pathetic attempt to entertain yourself. Scrolling through some water-downed TikToks, you find yourself in a time vacuum, unaware of how much social media content you just consumed.
Just when you’re about to put your phone down and rush to get ready for school, the overwhelming beauty from your reels emerges. Blaring phonk music over edits of Patrick Bateman, Andrew Tate, Jordan Peterson, Joe Rogan, Joker, Homelander, Kanye West, and Elon Musk flood your timeline. Feeling a surge of motivation, you think to yourself, where did all of these edits of these devilishly handsome, accomplished, rich, based, and intelligent men come from? And more importantly, how do I become like them?
Well, these fictional and real men alike are a part of this emerging trend of being a sigma male. Before you die of cringe, bear with me. The sigma grindset trend is a trend that young males are participating in that romanticizes the lifestyle of a lone wolf. Working out, getting rich, practicing religion, being disagreeable, and beating the matrix. Basically the men’s equivalent to astrology.
If you already don’t know what I’m talking about, I decided to provide some empirical evidence so the woefully ignorant individuals can understand this article. Please acknowledge the sacrifice I made in order to entertain you guys:
The sigma male grindset is a trend that only the enlightened (or conservative) will be able to understand. This trend primarily targets young men and motivates them to gain confidence, work out, reject subordination, and not conform to what society deems as the right way to live life. And although there is a lot of controversy around this trend, especially the type of community they are creating, I have to say, surprisingly, that I kind of like this trend.
NOW before I get canceled, I want to explain myself. There are two communities of this “sigma” trend I’ve seen. You’ve got the Sneako/Andrew Tate route, which promotes toxic masculinity, misogyny, the patriarchy… you know, all the good brainwashing material for little boys to turn into Reddit incels. And then you’ve got the Jordan Peterson/Elon Musk route, which promotes entrepreneurship, working out, having a traditional family, etc. I clearly support the firs- I mean the second one. I’m just joking, but in all seriousness, I don’t think that the second community of “sigma males” (again, I’m using the term sigma very loosely) is necessarily bad. The memes are kind of funny, and yeah, it holds heavy conservative ideals, but I think it is motivating men to achieve more and not succumb to a life of loneliness, unhealthiness, and poverty.
That being said, the sigma trend is still “edgy”, I guess, and “problematic”. Therefore, I don’t think I can “promote this lifestyle through a school domain”, but I don’t care, so here are three easy steps on how to become a sigma male:
- Start working out. Everyone knows in order to be a sigma male you must CONQUER. Therefore, promoting an unachievable body standard of men on steroids but presenting as a natural body to young boys who cannot tell the difference definitely won’t have any long-lasting body image effects we should worry about. Yeah. That sounds good to me.
- Drop out of school. Are you gonna let school brainwash you into becoming a slave working for someone else with a 9-5 job? Or are you, fine young man, going to escape the matrix with zero skills and hobbies and somehow become a boss and millionaire? Don’t think long-term or try to plan out your future. Just drop out now.
- Get a significant other. Why wouldn’t someone love a person who is easily swayed by emerging trends on a social media app? I mean seriously, who wouldn’t love a guy who completely changed his life because some man on the internet told him to despite having no actual relevance in the real world? Well golly, sounds like a keeper to me. Getting a significant other and not building any friendships, skills, or hobbies should definitely be your number one priority. However, once you actually get a significant other, severely neglect them and uphold none of the promises you shared in order to get them. Manipulation at its finest oh yes.
If actually read this article all the way through I want to applaud you for your commitment to understanding what a sigma male is. If you haven’t already died of cringe yet, I want to emphasize this is completely satirical and for entertainment only. Unless you actually liked it, then it’s not a joke and I’m completely serious. Lol.