Combating diversity with bearhugs

BOSTON — What would you do if you were asked to hug two complete strangers? That’s exactly what audience members attending Suffolk’s presentation, “Discussing Diversity with Ruthie Alcaide from MTV’s “The Real World: Hawaii” had to do.

After being asked to “find two people you have never met, and then give them both big bear hugs,” the audience giggled nervously and then shared awkward pats on the back.

This discussion took place on Tuesday, March 25, as a part of Suffolk University’s “Unity Week .” Ruthie Alcaide, from MTV’s infamous TV show “The Real World: Hawaii,” came to Suffolk to talk about acceptance and diversity.

In a small corner of Donahue Café, surrounded by black curtains that made the appearance of a pseudo-room, Ruthie flipped her long, shiny black hair over her shoulder as she talked about her experiences to a group of Suffolk students.ruthie_list_view.jpg“What was different about [Ruthie’s] talk was that she talked with the audience, not to them,” noted Dennis Gabriel, a sophomore finance major. “It’s unusual for a speaker to do that. She talked to us like she was our peer, which made it much more interesting.”

According to Suffolk’s Unity Week website, “Since the filming of Real World in 1999, [Alcaide has] traveled all over the country to various colleges and universities speaking about her experiences.”

Alcaide spent her childhood in Oahu, Hawaii, unaware of her heritage. “I grew up in a foster family so I didn’t know what ethnicity I was,” she explained. “I later figured out that I have six or seven different nationalities [in my heritage].”

Eventually, Alcaide felt it was important to experience life outside of Hawaii. “A lot of people dream of going to Hawaii, but I dreamt of leaving,” Alcaide foreshadowed. “I went my freshman year to the University of Hawaii, and my sister went to Bryant University in Rhode Island,” said Alcaide.

She explained that her sister would always call her and tell her what a good time she was having, so Alcaide decided to transfer to Rutgers University her sophomore year.

“In my mind I had grown up with all these stereotypes of the mainland,” Alcaide said. “From what I saw on TV, I dreamt of going to New York City. I looked at a map and saw that New Jersey was next to New York, so I said to myself ‘same thing.’”

Alcaide went on to explain other misconceptions she had about the mainland. “I thought that people in Texas rode horses to school, lived in barns, and slept in the hay,” she said. “I thought that all white families were rich and just like the TV show ‘Leave it to Beaver.’”

Alcaide also thought that New Jersey was cold year-round. “I was excited to go to school in New Jersey because it was the first time in my life that I could wear winter clothes.” Little did she know it was the end of August when she first arrived at school.

Alcaide describes herself as being in “culture shock” when she first saw the dining hall at Rutgers. She joked that the first thing said was “Oh my god, I’ve never seen so many white people in the same place at the same time.”

Being used to Hawaiian customs, she was stunned that there wasn’t any rice in the cafeteria. “In Hawaii, we eat rice for breakfast, lunch and dinner.” She assumed it would be that way everywhere.

This was the first time Alcaide was outnumbered by people of a different ethnicity, and she recalls feeling very uncomfortable. “As you can tell from my show, I am not a shy person. When I walked into the cafeteria, I felt so shy all of a sudden,” said Alcaide. “I felt so awkward; it was all people that weren’t like me.”05-ruthie-med_jpg.jpg

Once Alcaide opened up and started introducing herself to people, the awkwardness between her and the other students dissolved. “To my shock, I realized we had a lot in common,” she said. “It was like a drug, I kept wanting to meet more and more new people. It was a big eye opener. I didn’t think I would get along with anyone because they looked different from me.”

After Alcaide talked about her personal experiences, she talked about the prejudices that everyone holds. “If I put a picture up, everyone in this room will have something to say about that person,” she said. “All the influences we’ve had in our lives have affected our perceptions of people.”

She talked about the generalizations that most people make. “You can’t say that everyone from one race is alike,” Alcaide advised the audience. “It is very ignorant.”

But, it still happens. “Even before you talk to someone, they judge you,” she said. “We all do it, it’s subconscious.”

Alcaide left the audience with advice that they can use in their everyday lives. “I think it’s important to join other campus groups that are cultural groups other than your own,” she stated. “You can still be who you are and embrace other cultures.”

Alcaide also suggested traveling. “Educate yourself by meeting different people. People are so different, but we’re all the same. Getting out of your comfort zone and hugging a stranger can get you talking to someone you may not have otherwise met.”

2 thoughts on “Combating diversity with bearhugs

  1. Awesome story! I really wanted to go this but I had class. This is a very interesting. Good job!

  2. Ruthie sounds A LOT more interesting than what I remember from her being on The Real World!

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