Going to college is a process often filled with expectations. However, your child’s expectations, your expectations, and reality, may not be in line. Before your child goes to college, spend some time talking about your expectations. This can help clear the air and prevent you from making assumptions. Having good communication can help you have good communication later on. After all, you want your bond to continue through college, as these are formative years for your child. There are several conversations to consider having.
Understand Financial Expectations
Some parents give their student a living stipend to be used for various expenses. But other parents want students to become more financially independent. Make sure you and your child agree to the same things. Perhaps you will pay for tuition and some books and fees but expect your child to get a job to pay for other expenses or discretionary spending. There are some ways to make college less of a financial burden on your child. You can get a Private Parent loan to help pay for tuition or other expenses. Having parent loans available can be used for lots of different expenses, so talk this over with your child as well.
Reasons for Going to College
It might seem strange to be talking about why your child is going to college when they have spent the past couple of years trying to get in. But in spite of the amount of work you have already put into the process, you may not have talked yet about reasons for going to college. Perhaps your child is focused on a job or major. On the other hand, maybe they are mostly focused on the overall experience. While there is no right or wrong answer, it can be helpful for your student to know what they want because this helps them get a more satisfying experience. When you have this conversation, you may learn something about your child or their future goals.
Amount of Contact Desired
You may have a vision of talking to your student every evening to hear how their day went, but your student may picture college as a time to become more independent. Talk to your child about how much you expect to talk, text, or email each other. When you agree on the amount of contact each person desires, you can avoid disappointment and unmet expectations later. You may agree to one phone call a week on a certain day or time of day.
Credit Card and Spending
It’s not uncommon for college students to have one or more credit cards. But these can also be a temptation and plenty of college graduates have credit card debt on top of student loans. Still, don’t entirely rule them out, as credit cards can help your child build their credit history. Having a good credit history might be necessary if your child wants to get a rental or buy a home. Talk about your expectations of responsible credit card usage. You may talk about what will happen if they are unable to pay a bill and what the limits are.
Travel Away from Campus
Talk about how much information you want your child to share with you. Some parents expect to know if their child leaves campus overnight to visit a friend or take a trip with other people. While you won’t know where they are at all times, you might want to know if they are leaving campus for longer than a couple of hours for safety. Talking about this before they leave may help you be more comfortable.
Visits Home During School
Many schools have breaks during the semester, such as a fall or Thanksgiving break. There is often a longer break between semesters during the school year. If campus is close enough to home, they could feasibly come home for the weekend. Talk about how often you would like your child to visit, especially during the first semester. Some students want to come home each weekend to see family and friends at home. They might have a job or just want to enjoy home cooking. On the other hand, your child may want to stay on campus all the time to make connections outside the classroom.