Inside the Junk Drawer

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No This is Not an April Fool’s Joke

Drawing Structure and Expression II:

Finished the two-session drawing and started a three-session piece. For that, I’ve continued change my compositions. Before, I focused on head and torso. Now I’m trying out extreme cropping and paying more attention to the still life. Right now, I’m focused on a right leg and a weirdly shaped vase. Also continued to pick my own color palettes. Gabe’s been pretty respectful and has left me alone to muddle through it.

Also, one of you commented about there being a lack of pictures. You’re right, so I’ll try my best to get some in the next two weeks.

Advanced Painting:
Had out midterm. As expected, it was like a crit. Linda had us present five of our paintings and talk about them, where you thought you were going, what you accomplished, what you need to work on, etc. Also, you get feed back from the professor and you’re peers, so then you start to see stuff that you weren’t conscious of doing and give you suggestions on who to look at or how to improve your work.
For instance, Linda concluded all my pieces were night pieces, dream-like, and seemed to have something to do with the apocalypse (which I still think is really funny). I was so focused on trying to create the illusion of space that I didn’t consciously think of anything else.
After the midterm we started another piece. That one was pretty much cave like. Yesterday, Katia had me come upstairs to give her some feedback about our current painting. She also looked at mine and confirmed the suspicion that, yes, it’s too dark. Hopefully, I can get my butt out of bed early tomorrow morning and paint before lecture starts at ten. I have to leave at five tomorrow anyway, so I’m really constrained with time (friends are coming to stay for Anime Boston this weekend ^________^).

Western Art II:

Our midterm results came back. I didn’t fail (I saved myself by being an attendance junkie. I’m a visual and tactile learner, so taking notes really helps). Nor will I have to write an extra credit paper to raise my grade. Still, I’m rather pleased- I went to the Durer exhibit taking place in the MFA currently. It’s impressive. If you live nearby you should definitely check it out, especially if you like fine details. During the same trip (I went to both the MFA and Gardner on Sunday) I found about six different pieces I can use for my research paper. I think I still have to retype my thesis statement, but I’d rather make my last museum trip and pick the pieces before I do that.

Social Ethics:
On Tuesday, I noticed we had one section left in the Aristotle book we’re reading. So, to get ahead, I read half the chapter. Then I walked into class and found that isn’t next week’s homework. Instead, we’re reading four different essays on capital punishment and perhaps giving a presentation…? That will freak me out-my rhetorical skills are pretty terrible. See, I have the luxury of actually seeing what I’m writing and making revisions before I post (I do about two or three drafts before posting). Speaking, you can’t do that. Nor can you erase your mistakes. Instead, you have to focus on keeping your language completely fluid and trying not to ramble. Unfortunately, ramble is pretty much all I do, so this should be an interesting experience…

English Literature II:
I had a doctor’s appointment today in between Western Art II and this class. I was frantic to get to English, not because I was worried about my attendance, but being I really wanted to discuss the S.T. Eliot poem we read “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock”. I went over it in high school and pretty much dismissed it. However, I re-read it and my jaw dropped. I found it more likable than Virginia Wolf’s rambling anyway. I’ve also been listening to the Crash Test Dummies song “Afternoons and Coffeespoons” which was inspired by the poem, so that might be effecting my judgment too…
Katia also suggested some reading material for me based off of it: Crime and Punishment and Diary of a Madman. I’m most excited about checking out the latter, but currently I’m on a ten book series. Hopefully I’ll get them all read before my summer classes start. Or maybe not. I keep thinking I have a month, but it might only be a week between spring and summer term. I’ll have to go check again…

Apartment Hunting:

My potential roommate seems to have her heart set on an apartment in East Boston. Yes, it looks like a dream come true: it’s a short commute to the main campus (and she goes there primarily), the bedrooms are huge, there’s laundry in the unit, plenty of storage space, fully furnished, it has separate leases.
However, the area is really bad. I checked the crime statistics-there’s been tons of assaults and at least one shooting in the last three months. The realtor said it was safe at night, but I’m really starting to think it was sweet talk. They were renovating apartments too (the last two apartments were basically construction sites)-She also wants us to tell our friends-so I think she’s trying to get people in there fast.
But, my roommate seems totally snowed. She doesn’t have furniture, so the place seems ideal. This is also her first apartment-she’s a freshman moving out of the dorms-so she’s new at this. I’ve done it for two years already-this will be my third time. During my freshman year, I saw an apartment in Southie-beautiful inside-but it was in an extremely scary part of town. Personally, I’d rather live in a safe area.
I’ve contacted two more realtors to look at other places and I’ve asked her when she’s available about three days ago. I haven’t heard back. If I don’t hear back by tomorrow, I think I’ll be asking them to show me studio apartments instead of two bedrooms. Honestly, I’m really starting to believe dealing with roommates isn’t worth it. Only do it if you’re certain to get along with the person.

(And please excuse spelling mistakes. I’m trying to write this and scan slides at the same time. There isn’t enough time in the day to do everything, I swear…)

(EDIT: And then again, I just talked to Tim who happens to live in East Boston. He says its pretty safe, so maybe I’m just paranoid…)

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Creative Writing Minor?

Drawing Expression and Structure:

Monday’s class was an exploration day. Gabe decided it would be best to do something that wasn’t too taxing. This was good for me because I spent the previous night at a concert (Voltaire was in town, how could I resist?). I had debated coming in. When I woke up and found I plenty of time to get ready for class, I thought “what the heck” and came in. Completed a small pencil drawing and focused on changing my composition from my previous drawings. On Wednesday, when we set up for a two class session, it influenced the drawing I started. I also forced myself to pick my color palette. This had slightly disastrous results-I sketched in a very light color and couldn’t find a dark to compliment it. Gabe had me use black ink which salvaged it.

Advanced Painting:

                My midterm is tomorrow. Last Friday I tried to fix my five paintings. Susan Nitcher came in and tried to help me since Linda was sick. It was one of those brick wall days and I couldn’t summon the energy to take any chances. Needless to say, I’m not enthusiastic about the midterm. I feel like I can’t paint.

Western Art II:

 I thought our midterm was going to be today, so I had the shock of my life on Tuesday when I found I was mistaken. I took the thing without studying and didn’t do well. See? This is what I get for procrastinating. Luckily, I can raise my grade with an extra credit paper, so I plan on heading to the MFA (Museum of Fine Arts) and picking one of the Durer pieces that is currently being shown.

                Also, we presented our themes and thesis statements for our research papers. Mine’s on violence, it honors or condemns, and if this changes chronologically. Perla and I are going to make a day trip on Sunday and visit both the MFA and the Gardner museum nearby.

 

English Literature II:

Just finished Robert Browning and moved onto Forester. The Victorian era segment is over and we’re moved into modern era. Forester was a satisfying read. Now I’ve got to deal with Virginia Wolf (her writing isn’t agreeing with me; too windy so far). Also-that paper I failed-I aced it. It’s a relief yet a curse. I won’t argue with a good grade, but seriously, I want to grab the man and shake him. I thought I contradicted everything he said! Gah!

 

Social Ethics:

Fun times with Aristotle. Turns out our labs aren’t due until next week. This good considering that gives me time to consider the feedback on the proposals he passed back. We also attended a lecture on political forgiveness. I was annoyed because there seemed to be way too many exceptions for the concept to work. Seems like it should also be apart of Justice:  like a subcategory or something. Right now, I’m reading book eight which is on friendship. Interesting, though I’m sure he’s going to assign more than that. He still hasn’t sent us our homework yet. Getting homework via email two days after class is still ticking off, but hey what can you do?

Apartment Hunting:

                I’ve acquired a roommate and she’s pretty much calling all the realtors. This makes me feel bad, but this has also been the worst week back ever. I keep trying to get ahead on assignments and end up falling backward. “We lay waste our powers”-it’s this line by one of the poems I read this year-I think Wordsworth-and I can’t get it out of my head. Anyway, it’s her first time looking (the girl I’m rooming with is a freshman trying to escape the dorms). I don’t like the fact that I’m not doing anything. I suggested we take a look at a place in Symphony but I’m not sure if she’ll bite. It might be too far away.

Minor:

Um-yeah, I’ve decided to declare a creative writing minor officially. I’ve decided to do this despite the fact that it might make me take an extra semester. I’m also going to take an art history class and Chem 101 in the summer (I’ve talked about this right?). I forgot to register for the Lab though and did it this morning. Worried for nothing. Piece of cake. Anyway, headed to Fenton and talked to Andrew in the English Department. He’s given me contact information, so I’ve got to shoot an email and see if this guy (Whitman? Something like that) will set up an appointment with me.

Part of me can’t believe this and thinks it’s a bonehead move (This is the same part that things going for an art major wasn’t a good idea. Yet here I am). I can’t agree with it. This feels like a necessary risk, and if I’m going to progress with my writing I need some training. However, I keep thinking I’m not going to be able to find a job. I mean, how much need does society have for a fine artist? Or a writer? Have you seen Barnes and Noble? We’re like a dime a dozen, and Oscar Wilde even states that “All art is useless”.

But do I need to be useful?  Bread money would be fantastic and I’m freaking out thinking there won’t be any, yet, if I turn my back on this I feel like I’m going to be miserable. I’m terrible at math and proficient at science… I’d like to be useful.  It would have been awesome if I had the potential to be a doctor or lawyer, but I don’t have that kind of ability. Nor does it entice me. This is what I’ve got, so I’ll run with it. If it turns out to be a mistake, it will have been a necessary one.

 

Edit: I just looked at my spam folder and found about fourteen comments that I didn’t even know existed. 0_o Holy crap! Um-sorry about that guys. Also, thanks for your feed back.

 

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Tired

 

Drawing Structure and Expression II:

We had our midterm crit. Gabe said my work had made a jump since the beginning of the year. It was much better than the fall, partly because being idle in the summer put me out of practice and I was too nervous to do any real good drawings. Fear pretty much destroys every project I work on. This term, I just decided that I can’t draw and to have fun with it. By doing that, I wasn’t afraid of screwing up my drawing and could focus more on the task at hand. Sometimes you have to throw the screaming voice into a box and do what you gotta do.

When we get back, I’ll be focusing more on choosing my color palette. Gabe’s been holding my hand since the fall and picking out my colors. I really need to learn to do this for myself. No, I didn’t realize until Gabe stated that, with paint, you mix all of your colors before starting your piece: then it clicked. I did that automatically in Advanced Painting: for some reason I didn’t think of applying the concept to a drawing. No idea why, but I should have. I’ll also be doing color studies over the break if I don’t become a victim to laziness.

Advanced Painting:

We finished our second painting based on our collages. Tomorrow we will review them. Based on the feedback from my first painting, my second ended up being more symbolic. Now, after knowing that for a week, I wondered yesterday if that was okay considering our paintings were suppose to be abstract and I had some clearly identifiable objects. Then again, Katia introduced some figures into her work and Linda didn’t mind. I guess I’ll just wait and see.

Western Art II: We just finished Baroque. The week after we come back, our outline for our research paper is due. Pearla wants to finish the other three trips during the break. There’s merit in picking our pieces before writing the outline, so I’ll probably end up doing it if things don’t get too busy. It will also leave ample time to do additional research, write the paper, and revise five hundred times before the end of the year. Our Midterm is also taking place after the break, so I’ve made flash cards in advance. Again, laziness permitting, I hopefully will study them.

Social Ethics:

We got our midterms back. I passed and I’m glad it’s over. We touched upon the concept of Justice. Professor Fried also assigned two more books and some reading to be done over the break. Also, our lab journals will be under scrutiny, so I have to relate my blurbs more to the text.

English Literature II:

I save this for last because it’s been bugging me the most. Currently, we’re working on Oscar Wilde’s play, “The Importance of Being Earnest”. Today, I had to give a presentation on my assigned character, Miss Prism, and hand in a two page paper. Considering I didn’t like my last grade, I went through six different drafts trying to make sure it was perfect. Instead, my confidence was completely destroyed when he started referring to all of these characteristics I hadn’t noticed, and then pretty much concluded the exact opposite of what my paper had to say. So, with that, I’m pretty sure the assignment was a complete flop and will be writing it over if he even lets me. I’m entirely frustrated. Yes, I may have aced my midterm and done well on his pop quizzes, but that is only because I’ve regurgitated what he’s said. Instead, I find I cannot come up with the right answers for myself, and my first thoughts are always completely wrong or not even close to what he’s looking for.

Am I some kind of idiot? I can’t think of what he’s thinking, or even remotely come close. Then again, the man has a doctorate in English literature and I’m just an undergraduate. Though, its problematic that my brain seems not to be able to even find the stupid box. All my thoughts are too shallow, but for some reason I can’t get into the material. Everything’s about what the poet must have thought when he completed each work and what society had to do about it. I read the history, and I read both the poems and the plays, but I’m still not making the right connections.

I wouldn’t care so much if it weren’t for the fact that I want to minor in creative writing. If I can’t consider the message behind any of these works-or come even remotely close-then is deciding to write a completely bonehead move? This small little doubtful voice is coming back whispering, “You can’t write. You can’t be a writer. You’re stupid if you can’t figure this out”. Except this is stupid. It’s just one little two page paper-I shouldn’t be freaking out about this.

But still, I am. I’m so frustrated it’s not even funny and I hate the thought of being considered stupid. Either way, all I know is I can’t do anything about it now. I’ll have to wait until he gives it back, which won’t be until after break. By then, hopefully, it won’t be bothering me as much.

 

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Before Spring Break Rush

Drawing Structure and Expression II:
Finished my dark-sketch drawing. I’ve also noticed all of my work has similar compositions. I should change this. Our Midterm is on next Wednesday, so on Monday I’ll have to make my drawings presentable (straight borders, cropping, etc). Also found out towards the end of class that I really missed sketching still lives. This is pretty funny considering how much I was sick of them by the end of freshman year.

Advanced Painting:
We looked at our collages last week. Apparently, I have an interest in cave-like spaces, drama, and camouflage. The cave-like space really bugged me. I’m currently focused on creating space and depth. I didn’t want it to be shallow-I want to be able to move around. I didn’t end up using any of Linda’s suggestions and tried to radically change my composition. I kept the same colors, but made the space really vast. It turned into a landscape-I put something like mountains and water in it.
When I stopped, I hated it. I snuck a glance at it on Monday and went from hate to dislike. I always hate my paintings right after I finish them, but by the time next Friday comes around, I find them less horrible. Having said that, I still don’t like my painting. Linda will critique them Friday, so that should help. I also have two other paintings in which to correct my errors. I think that’s why I love painting: if the first painting is crap, simply do another. That’s it. You’re always learning.

Western Art II:
Handed in my Renaissance paper this morning. I only had time to do three drafts. Then, Afshan, our professor, started listing Renaissance principles I hadn’t even thought of. The material isn’t as clear-cut as Western Art I: it’s all bleeding together in my brain. It also doesn’t help that High Renaissance, Mannerism, and Baroque over lap each other. Or that I was reading two chapters ahead in an attempt to get all my work done in time: that can’t have helped either. I really have to make my flash cards and try to get all this information straight in my head.

Literature II:
We had our Midterm on Tuesday. It consisted of three essay questions. The first confused me, but I felt like I knew more about the other two. Too bad the first was more points the others. I also got my Wordsworth paper back and my grade wasn’t what I hoped it to be. This is after he pretty much freaked me out with a long speech about getting work done on time, and blah blah blah on the writing center, and he was disappointed in us. Then he didn’t pass the essays until the end of class, so I had fun trying not to brood on it and pay attention to the rest of the lesson.  I still have another two-page paper and a five-page paper left, so that gives me room to recover. Also, they’re not being composed on poetry, so I think I have a better shot.

He also said my writing was stiff. This makes sense-I felt stiff when I was writing it. I couldn’t get anything to flow right because I really couldn’t figure out what I was saying-or it all sounded wrong. I probably should have done another draft or two, but really didn’t have the time.

Social Ethics:
Our midterm has also been completed for this class (he also let us prepare part three ahead of time, so I got to leave forty minutes early. I just hope it was done correctly. I always doubt myself when teachers say ‘if you think its good enough’. I mean come on.) The homework for this week is related to justice. It also and  seems like he wants us to re-read chapters. Professor Fried already assigned the chapters from politics and gave out the exact same questions, so I’m a bit confused. On the other hand, he also never assigns two book assignments, which he did this week, so I’m not really sure what to think. I read everything, so I guess it will be fine either way. I also have to start my electronic journal to keep my process on my lab experiment. I made some progress today and have to remember to write it down.

Library:
Yesterday, I put away some books and did some shelf reading. Shelf reading is when you make sure all the call numbers are in the correct order, a.k.a all the books are in the right place. I also talked to Ellen about a couple of Stephen King novels. (Dark Tower is still the best).

Front Desk:
I’ve been running around all day. I watched the desk for a while, put up some signs dealing with Spring break hours, wrote two drafts for this, and helped Linda clean up after the Green Design show finished up downstairs. Green Design is a show the Interior Design department runs in the Atrium downstairs once a year. I don’t know that much about it, but we have stuff up on the website if you’re curious. It was a lot of fun getting the moving walls into the elevator (I’m not being sarcastic when I’m writing this: seriously-talking to the people that shared the elevator with me was entertaining.)
Also, I just found out from Josh that I can’t scan any slides tonight because there’s still a class in the conference room. Oh boy…

Other Note:
Now I’m waking up before my alarm is going off. Like an hour before. No idea why. Might be anxiety related-I hate being late-but it could also be because my roommate and I were close to having a disagreement about my coffee pot. My brain is the per-verbal junk drawer, so all this stuff gets mixed together-who knows.
My hunter socks are also falling apart. I’ve lost three now. I keep ripping through the heel. I’m wondering if it’s because they’re old or because of my black shoes (they only have given out while I was wearing those). The Plan right now is to go get some at the Army Barrack-like place (I think its called something else-like Army Store-my memory is crap) and pick up some more. There’s also a Borders there, so I want to check if they have books 4, 5, and 6 of a series I’m reading. I went through six hundred pages in two days and have been trying to make the third book last the rest of the week. So far, I’ve pretty much succeeded.

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