Tired
Drawing Structure and Expression II:
We had our midterm crit. Gabe said my work had made a jump since the beginning of the year. It was much better than the fall, partly because being idle in the summer put me out of practice and I was too nervous to do any real good drawings. Fear pretty much destroys every project I work on. This term, I just decided that I can’t draw and to have fun with it. By doing that, I wasn’t afraid of screwing up my drawing and could focus more on the task at hand. Sometimes you have to throw the screaming voice into a box and do what you gotta do.
When we get back, I’ll be focusing more on choosing my color palette. Gabe’s been holding my hand since the fall and picking out my colors. I really need to learn to do this for myself. No, I didn’t realize until Gabe stated that, with paint, you mix all of your colors before starting your piece: then it clicked. I did that automatically in Advanced Painting: for some reason I didn’t think of applying the concept to a drawing. No idea why, but I should have. I’ll also be doing color studies over the break if I don’t become a victim to laziness.
Advanced Painting:
We finished our second painting based on our collages. Tomorrow we will review them. Based on the feedback from my first painting, my second ended up being more symbolic. Now, after knowing that for a week, I wondered yesterday if that was okay considering our paintings were suppose to be abstract and I had some clearly identifiable objects. Then again, Katia introduced some figures into her work and Linda didn’t mind. I guess I’ll just wait and see.
Western Art II: We just finished Baroque. The week after we come back, our outline for our research paper is due. Pearla wants to finish the other three trips during the break. There’s merit in picking our pieces before writing the outline, so I’ll probably end up doing it if things don’t get too busy. It will also leave ample time to do additional research, write the paper, and revise five hundred times before the end of the year. Our Midterm is also taking place after the break, so I’ve made flash cards in advance. Again, laziness permitting, I hopefully will study them.
Social Ethics:
We got our midterms back. I passed and I’m glad it’s over. We touched upon the concept of Justice. Professor Fried also assigned two more books and some reading to be done over the break. Also, our lab journals will be under scrutiny, so I have to relate my blurbs more to the text.
English Literature II:
I save this for last because it’s been bugging me the most. Currently, we’re working on Oscar Wilde’s play, “The Importance of Being Earnest”. Today, I had to give a presentation on my assigned character, Miss Prism, and hand in a two page paper. Considering I didn’t like my last grade, I went through six different drafts trying to make sure it was perfect. Instead, my confidence was completely destroyed when he started referring to all of these characteristics I hadn’t noticed, and then pretty much concluded the exact opposite of what my paper had to say. So, with that, I’m pretty sure the assignment was a complete flop and will be writing it over if he even lets me. I’m entirely frustrated. Yes, I may have aced my midterm and done well on his pop quizzes, but that is only because I’ve regurgitated what he’s said. Instead, I find I cannot come up with the right answers for myself, and my first thoughts are always completely wrong or not even close to what he’s looking for.
Am I some kind of idiot? I can’t think of what he’s thinking, or even remotely come close. Then again, the man has a doctorate in English literature and I’m just an undergraduate. Though, its problematic that my brain seems not to be able to even find the stupid box. All my thoughts are too shallow, but for some reason I can’t get into the material. Everything’s about what the poet must have thought when he completed each work and what society had to do about it. I read the history, and I read both the poems and the plays, but I’m still not making the right connections.
I wouldn’t care so much if it weren’t for the fact that I want to minor in creative writing. If I can’t consider the message behind any of these works-or come even remotely close-then is deciding to write a completely bonehead move? This small little doubtful voice is coming back whispering, “You can’t write. You can’t be a writer. You’re stupid if you can’t figure this out”. Except this is stupid. It’s just one little two page paper-I shouldn’t be freaking out about this.
But still, I am. I’m so frustrated it’s not even funny and I hate the thought of being considered stupid. Either way, all I know is I can’t do anything about it now. I’ll have to wait until he gives it back, which won’t be until after break. By then, hopefully, it won’t be bothering me as much.
Mar
25
By kalemoine
Creative Writing Minor?
Category: Uncategorized Tags: creative writing, drawing, midterms, minor, oscar wilde, painting, paper, robert brown, voltaire, WAIT COMMENTS?! 6 Comments
Drawing Expression and Structure:
Monday’s class was an exploration day. Gabe decided it would be best to do something that wasn’t too taxing. This was good for me because I spent the previous night at a concert (Voltaire was in town, how could I resist?). I had debated coming in. When I woke up and found I plenty of time to get ready for class, I thought “what the heck” and came in. Completed a small pencil drawing and focused on changing my composition from my previous drawings. On Wednesday, when we set up for a two class session, it influenced the drawing I started. I also forced myself to pick my color palette. This had slightly disastrous results-I sketched in a very light color and couldn’t find a dark to compliment it. Gabe had me use black ink which salvaged it.
Advanced Painting:
My midterm is tomorrow. Last Friday I tried to fix my five paintings. Susan Nitcher came in and tried to help me since Linda was sick. It was one of those brick wall days and I couldn’t summon the energy to take any chances. Needless to say, I’m not enthusiastic about the midterm. I feel like I can’t paint.
Western Art II:
I thought our midterm was going to be today, so I had the shock of my life on Tuesday when I found I was mistaken. I took the thing without studying and didn’t do well. See? This is what I get for procrastinating. Luckily, I can raise my grade with an extra credit paper, so I plan on heading to the MFA (Museum of Fine Arts) and picking one of the Durer pieces that is currently being shown.
Also, we presented our themes and thesis statements for our research papers. Mine’s on violence, it honors or condemns, and if this changes chronologically. Perla and I are going to make a day trip on Sunday and visit both the MFA and the Gardner museum nearby.
English Literature II:
Just finished Robert Browning and moved onto Forester. The Victorian era segment is over and we’re moved into modern era. Forester was a satisfying read. Now I’ve got to deal with Virginia Wolf (her writing isn’t agreeing with me; too windy so far). Also-that paper I failed-I aced it. It’s a relief yet a curse. I won’t argue with a good grade, but seriously, I want to grab the man and shake him. I thought I contradicted everything he said! Gah!
Social Ethics:
Fun times with Aristotle. Turns out our labs aren’t due until next week. This good considering that gives me time to consider the feedback on the proposals he passed back. We also attended a lecture on political forgiveness. I was annoyed because there seemed to be way too many exceptions for the concept to work. Seems like it should also be apart of Justice: like a subcategory or something. Right now, I’m reading book eight which is on friendship. Interesting, though I’m sure he’s going to assign more than that. He still hasn’t sent us our homework yet. Getting homework via email two days after class is still ticking off, but hey what can you do?
Apartment Hunting:
I’ve acquired a roommate and she’s pretty much calling all the realtors. This makes me feel bad, but this has also been the worst week back ever. I keep trying to get ahead on assignments and end up falling backward. “We lay waste our powers”-it’s this line by one of the poems I read this year-I think Wordsworth-and I can’t get it out of my head. Anyway, it’s her first time looking (the girl I’m rooming with is a freshman trying to escape the dorms). I don’t like the fact that I’m not doing anything. I suggested we take a look at a place in Symphony but I’m not sure if she’ll bite. It might be too far away.
Minor:
Um-yeah, I’ve decided to declare a creative writing minor officially. I’ve decided to do this despite the fact that it might make me take an extra semester. I’m also going to take an art history class and Chem 101 in the summer (I’ve talked about this right?). I forgot to register for the Lab though and did it this morning. Worried for nothing. Piece of cake. Anyway, headed to Fenton and talked to Andrew in the English Department. He’s given me contact information, so I’ve got to shoot an email and see if this guy (Whitman? Something like that) will set up an appointment with me.
Part of me can’t believe this and thinks it’s a bonehead move (This is the same part that things going for an art major wasn’t a good idea. Yet here I am). I can’t agree with it. This feels like a necessary risk, and if I’m going to progress with my writing I need some training. However, I keep thinking I’m not going to be able to find a job. I mean, how much need does society have for a fine artist? Or a writer? Have you seen Barnes and Noble? We’re like a dime a dozen, and Oscar Wilde even states that “All art is useless”.
But do I need to be useful? Bread money would be fantastic and I’m freaking out thinking there won’t be any, yet, if I turn my back on this I feel like I’m going to be miserable. I’m terrible at math and proficient at science… I’d like to be useful. It would have been awesome if I had the potential to be a doctor or lawyer, but I don’t have that kind of ability. Nor does it entice me. This is what I’ve got, so I’ll run with it. If it turns out to be a mistake, it will have been a necessary one.
Edit: I just looked at my spam folder and found about fourteen comments that I didn’t even know existed. 0_o Holy crap! Um-sorry about that guys. Also, thanks for your feed back.