Here are some general comments about Essay 1.  Ask if you have any questions.

First statement An essay (from the French essayer) is what Einstein calls a thought experiment.  You take an idea an explore it based on some information.  In this case the text of the Bible.  You are not saying you are right or wrong, just that you have this idea and this is what this

You may rewrite your paper to improve the grade.  Do not just rewrite the whole paper, unless we have discussed it and feel that that is what you need to do.  Break up your rewriting in the same way I suggested you break up the writing process.

Here is how it works.

1. You see your grade, and if you got less that 100% such as 1/2 for your thesis, you can raise your grade, all you need to do is to rewrite your thesis, and send it to me, or bring it to me in my office.
2. The same goes for titles.
3. To get a better grade for accuracy or MLA, take the graded paper and a different colored pen, make the changes and bring it to me, or re-type the paper, amke the changes so I can easily see them (color is good) and hand it to me with your graded paper.
4. To raise your grade for Ideas and quotation rewrite just one or two paragraphs and show me that you know how to do this.  We will then discuss whether you need to do a full rewrite or just do more paragraphs or if you are done.
5. For organization you need to re-do the paper, either on the graded paper with a color pen indicate what you will do to change the organization or rewrite the paper and with color indicate the changes you have made.

General Notes

1. Develop a strong thesis before going to your final draft.
2. Identify each sentence or parts of sentences as either facts (supporting information), observations (drawn from making connections between facts) and ideas (arguable statements about those observations) and then discussion of the ideas explaing the weight that should be put on the various observations.  These are all to be supported, every time, by explained quotes from the text or less ideally by explained summary of the text always with citation.
3. When you choose quotes, make sure they support your thesis or that you can use them to discuss your thesis.  No need to quote, “Joseph brushed his teeth that day” (Gen 51.8).
4. Do not summarize the story.  That is not  your job.  Something like:, “When Moses kills the slave and hides the body, we can see that he knows that he has committed a sin.” should be enough storytelling.
5. Avoid questions, make statements instead.  Your statement only needs to be supported by the text, it does not matter if it is right or wrong in any wider sense.
6. Write in the present tense and the active voice and move from there.  The Bible exists, so you can write about it in the present tense.
7. Be careful about pronouns and antecedents, otherwise it can be hard to know who you are referring to.
8. “Look up MLA if you are not sure” (Sol. 2.7).
9. -ing words often cause difficulties.
10. S- spelling, M-missing word, W-wrong word, P-punctuation, T-tense, (X)-suggested excision,